0430 920 815
Sheran Lees - Maric Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Bachelor Social Science
PACFA Registered
Eftpos temporarily unavailable cash only or direct deposit.
Information about Past Trauma(s)
How do you handle the re-emergence of trauma emotions?
Know this is normal
Emotions re-emerging are a normal part of the trauma recovery process. You are in no way going backwards, your mind simply feels you’re strong enough to deal with these emotions once and for all.
There is no way out but there is a way through
This process is challenging and guidance from a compassionate genuine counsellor & psychotherapist is recommended.
Taking it easy at your own pace
You may find these emotions to be a bit overwhelming so take your time. It may take some practice.
When you think you’re up and running, you may have set backs, taking you back to needing little steps again. Just as you when learned to walk
Counselling sessions can give you a safe place to release your emotions, and provide a supportive base if you’re struggling to cope. You will also learn new skills to manage post-trauma symptoms and emotion providing a newfound sense of hope.
Many do not recognise that they are being triggered from past trauma. These can appear through dreams, smells, loud voices, seeing something that scares you, just to mention a few. With most clients these triggers/memories resurface around the age of 30 + which perhaps means that you now feel ready to deal with them and seek safe support & guidance.
Your Life, Reimagined
Advice by Christopher W. T. Miller, MD
February 23, 2023 at 6:00 a.m. EST
Therapists help patients develop flexibility in thinking by offering space.
As therapists, we do not validate patients’ worst views of themselves, nor do we propose to have life advice that is meant to solve all their problems.
The world pushes and demands action. We invite reflection. I do not impose my point of view on patients. All the fancy theories I have need to be set aside as I discover the person in front of me, someone no theory has described. I let them show me how they view the world.
This can help patients feel less trapped, broadening how they think of themselves and the world around them.
How to use therapy skills in everyday life
Many people struggling with mental health issues may not be able to access therapy because of the costs and the shortage in therapists and culturally competent care. But there are ways to incorporate some of the lessons from psychotherapy in our everyday lives.
In many ways, it comes down to how we treat our own thinking. Some tips include:
Choose reflection over reflex: We get caught up in tough thinking patterns because we do not take a step back to consider other points of view. When we find ourselves stepping into a thought loop, it helps to catch ourselves and try to consider other ways of looking at the situation.
Bring softness, not hostility: We often assume the worst about other people when they say something we don’t agree with. Even if people are behaving or speaking in a way we disapprove of, it is useful to remember that they have a story behind their perspectives. The stronger the negative feelings we have about people, the more it might help to get to know them better. This helps us develop empathy and connectedness.
Be curious, not judgmental: The mind is complex and can go anywhere, if given the chance. Although it is tempting to think our understanding of life is all there is to know, being open and inquisitive to things that are confusing and unsettling helps us stay flexible. If our mind goes to unpleasant and defeating places, instead of beating ourselves up over it, we should welcome the thought and reflect on what we can learn about ourselves by holding onto it, instead of throwing it away.
Our Past Learned Behaviours Become Habits! They Can Be Unlearned!
Our New Learned Behaviours Become New Habits !
Learning to identify what assumptions you make of your world can help you revert negative patterns.
“Ask yourself if you have factual evidence for your thoughts.
“Recognising and changing patterns of assumptions is not easy but with practice and help from a therapist, you can do it.”
Correcting & challenging your own negative self talk can also help.
“Really acknowledge, practice, feel & trust your statements internally. Remember you learned those thought patterns so you can also unlearn them
Fear
Take a moment to ask yourself "what is it that is holding me back from reaching my desired outcome"?
Anxiety,
Apprehension,
Denial
Doubt,
Mistrust,
Panic,
Frustration
Past Trauma Impact
Uncertainty,
Distress,
Uneasiness
All of these are emotions & related to fear. Fear though perfectly natural, is when a chemical is released in our brain because it senses we are feeling threatened by something. While fear is a normal reaction, constant feelings of fear will inhibit you and wear you down. The good news is that once you decide to face & conquer your fears, I am just a phone call away.
How to Stop Overthinking
Here are ways to stop overthinking everything:
Notice When You're Stuck in Your Head. Overthinking can become such a habit that you don't even recognise when you're doing it. ...
Keep the Focus on Problem-Solving. ...
Challenge Your Thoughts. ...
Schedule Time for Reflection. ...
Learn Mindfulness Skills. ...
Change the Channel.
Mental health is serious business, and not staying on top of yours can seriously affect how you perform. If things are turbulent right now and anxiety is beating up on you, you can get your peace back. But it takes looking in the mirror, acknowledging the truth, and making changes. When you feel you are ready, I can provide you guidance & support needed to get through.
RESILIENCE
Resilience is being able to find the strength, determination & courage to get up & keep going. Knowing that you will get through each day regardless of what is happening. You have the strength to do this. Deep within us all we own the courage and the resilience to do that.
Just Reflect for a Moment
A reminder to remember how long you persisted & tried to overcome issues, conflicts, memories, feelings, emotions & more, but nothing worked?
If you can, then you will understand that to achieve positive results, it will take your patience & commitment to therapy in order to gain the ability & confidence to change the way you function on a daily basis. We will work closely together at a pace that is not so overwhelming for you.
Common Mistakes in Relationships
Common mistake couples in crisis make is seeking help when it’s too late.
“We organise yearly health checks with doctors and dentists, so why shouldn’t we take our relationships just as seriously? Every year, or your anniversary, or on a special ‘date night’, take some time together to reflect on and discuss your relationship – are you happy, what should you be doing more or less of? Consider seeing a counsellor for guidance because they can help solve quarrels before they turn into big problems and even pre-empt a separation down the track,”
So what are the signs that you need couple counselling?
The most common relationship red flags.
You keep having the same arguments – Is your marriage a version of ‘Groundhog Day’ in all the wrong ways? Do you have the same disagreements on the same issues over and over again? Therapy can help you not only understand why you keep having reoccurring issues, but help you resolve them – once and for all.
You’ve stopped being intimate – Don’t remember the last time you had sex, kissed or even held hands? Intimacy is considered a barometer for your relationship. Couple counselling can help uncover the real reason behind the lack of physical closeness, and help reignite the fire.
You find fault in everything your partner does – Do you criticise your partner for everything they do and don’t do? Do you badmouth your other half in front of friends and family? Resentment is at the root of many toxic relationships, but by seeking help, both parties can get the right tools for overcoming bitterness and rebuilding a healthy relationship.
You lead separate lives – Are you more housemates than lovers? A therapist can help you reconnect with your partner on a romantic level and remind you of why you fell in love in the first place.
You don’t trust your partner – When you trust someone, you feel physically and emotionally safe with them. Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship, and if it is missing – whether your partner has broken that confidence or if you have inherent trust issues – it is a problem that requires resolving. A counsellor can help with establishing and restoring trust.
You have financial fights – Money is the cause of many relationship breakdowns and divorces, even when it comes to couples that are financially well off. We fight over financial matters because we tend to have different, deeply rooted beliefs about the best way to use money. Relationship counselling can help you understand your partner’s differing point of perspective, and guide you both towards a resolution.
You feel like you partner doesn’t listen to you – Do you feel ignored by your partner? No matter how many times you’ve said something, he/she doesn’t listen? Communication is key in happy relationships, and it is indeed a two-way street and couple counselling can help you both improve your communication skills.
You’re thinking about having an affair – Social media has made it easier than ever to cheat, so if you find yourself sending flirty messages to co-workers, friends or even strangers, you are one step closer to having an affair. Couple therapy can help explore what it is you’re lacking in your current relationship and solve the problem if you cross that line.
You Always Have The Choice To Choose Your Own Destiny
Together we can work through those difficult emotions